Whats the best advice you can give me as a birthing partner?

My friend is 28 weeks pregnant and has asked me to be her birthing partner, as i have had 3 children... im honoured that she has asked me but im unsure what i should do during her labour, when im in labour i don't like being touched or anything, she has said that she will shout and maybe attempt to leave and go home but we all say this during labour, she had a bad experience with her 1st baby he required forceps etc. Any helpful advice and tricks would be appreciated





Thanks in AdvanceWhats the best advice you can give me as a birthing partner?
I was recently blessed to be present at my friends labor. OMG it was an amazing experience!! All the preparation I had was having given birth myself three times and honestly that's all I needed.





It was really great between all her support people (Her Mum, her sister and myself) we had given birth to 14 children between us and I think having the knowledge of birthing really helped a great deal.


We all just followed her cues as to what she needed, getting her ice chips when she asked, handing her the gas mask when she asked, massaging her when she asked. Pretty much we just did what she told us, lol. We reminded her to breathe and took her abuse, lol we suggested positions that might help her and tried to encourage her with our experiences, we kept up idle chit chat to distract her.





Each and every labor is different so just go with the flow during your friends labor. Do what she asks, be prepared to cop some abuse, use your knowledge and experience to help her and cheer her on. And enjoy the blessing that is childbirth! Oh and also just make sure you know all her wishes before labor ie: drugs she wants or doesn't want etc.





And PS. Not sure whether you've witnessed a birth aside from your own children's. But omg it is so nice to be in a labor room and not be going through the actual labor but being the one to help the laboring Mother and watch the miracle of birth :-)


Best of Luck to your friend and I hope you enjoy the experience.Whats the best advice you can give me as a birthing partner?
I've never been in labor yet, but I'm telling my husband that he has to support my EVERY decision, regardless of what his opinion of it is (I'm choosing to use hypnobirthing rather than an epidural and he doesn't think that I can do it), and I want him to tell me things like ';breathe slow and deep'; and ';Relax'; and ';let your body do what it knows how to do';...';Don't fight the contractions';, etc...





Hope that helps
Sounds like you will have to take it as you go. But be prepared, anything you may think could help be prepared and just ask her what she needs if she needs anything etc. Take some stuff for her, hard candies and a heating pad for her back, offer her a massage or pressure if she is in pain. And of course dont feel offended if she doesnt want anything or does yell at you, being a mom of three you know how labor can be.
Best thing to do is put your self in her shoes.. And tend to her feelings and needs. If she screams at you dont take it personal just like everyone shouldnt in the birthing room. Just tell her your feelings and let her know you can help out if needed..
Read Mothering the Mother and perhaps download the Audio CD of Deepak Chopra's Book for pregnancy and childbirth. There is a section that speaks to birth partners and how they can provide support and comfort measures
Keep your sense of humour!!!
Remain calm and in charge. Women in labor often feel out of control and it really helps to have someone thy know personally there to listen to. When the doctor says something needs to happen go to her and in calm firm voice say this is what we are going to do and help her do it in any way you can. Make sure you are familiar with what her wishes are for the birth process (meds, procedures etc)and be her advocate. Try to keep anything that annoys her to minimum, if someone is there (non-medical personnel) and she is unhappy, kick them out, if she wants to stay in the bath tub ask the nurse what they can do to make sure that happens. You have been down this road before and use your experience to remind her that everything is going to be ok. Good luck!
Well everyone is different, maybe you should meet up and discuss exactly what her wishes are (e.g. birth plan, how she has felt in her previous labour etc) so you are prepared on the day.





For me, i had my mum and boyfriend there.


They were both excellent but i am soooooooooooooo glad i had my mum there, someone had gone through it 3 times before.





At the beginning of labour i liked having my back rubbed while i was on the massage chair, but like you i didn't want to be touched towards the end.


If she is up and active to use gravity it would be good to be there to steady her, especially if she has pethedine which makes you so woozy.


Remind her to breathe through contractions, calm her when she gets panicky, and really push across her wants and needs to the midwives etc, none of my midwives bothered to read the brith plan i had written and one tried to force me home when i was in so much pain and scared, luckily my mum and boyfriend took over and spoke up for me.





Trying to distract her at the beginning is good, be there to grab things like a drink, sick bowl etc! or my mum put my hair up for me right at the end when i was all hot.





I don't know about you but at the end when i was trying to push him out it really annoyed me when my boyfriend kept saying ';keep pushing! come one, you want to see your little boy don't you??'; i ended up telling him to shut up lol.


Bless him.





When i finally gave birth i was stood up and he was on opposite side of the bed, me holding his arms to pull against, that helped.





p.s at antenatal classes they said it was important for the birth partner to remind mum to be to go for a wee every hour, to drink lots of fluid and eat something if they can!


If mum doesn't go for a wee enough then baby can cause serious damage to a full bladder when it is trying to get past it!!!

cheap make up